Today, I’m going to do it!
I’ve decided today is the day.
I may cry.
I can shake or scream.
I don’t care how hard it gets.
It doesn’t matter how ridiculous I look while doing it.
I’m going to put one foot in front of the other.
I will get it done.
I’m going to stop holding back.
I will no longer put this off.
Because if I don’t do this today, it will continue to control every part of me. As long as I look up, I know that God will direct me to where I need to go.
I’m afraid of heights. Ironically, I love roller coasters! I don’t hesitate at the thought of getting on the most extreme thrill ride in the world. At an amusement park, I’ll be the first person in line and make sure to sit in the front row seat of a roller coaster. Then, I will be super pumped once the ride begins. As the coaster goes faster and shake violently, I will throw my hands up proud and scream “Let’s Go!!!”.
On the other hand, if you ask me to get on a Ferris Wheel right now, I will kindly walk away with no shame as you slowly rotate in air by yourself. When the ride ends and you return, I will make sure to greet you with a hot and crispy funnel cake for us to enjoy. Should I add extra powdered sugar and strawberries?
Ok, you’re right. Enough about food. Let me share with you the genesis of my fear: heights.
To be honest, I wasn’t aware I had a fear of heights until an opportunity greeted me.
In high school, there was a field trip all ninth graders attended called, “The Rope’s Course”. The venue was outdoors. It was crafted for personal development, team building skills, and consisted of high/low elements.
The idea of the trip was for us students to learn how to trust and bond with one another in challenging situations. In order to attend, we had to get permission from our guardians and sign a disclosure. I remember being excited to go because I loved the thought of creating stronger bonds with my fellow classmates and friends. But, for real, I was more excited to have no class for a day!
In my mind, I thought,”Everybody who was anybody would agree to go on this field trip!”
After a long awaited week later, it was time to go to The Rope’s Course. Once my classmates, teacher, and I got off the bus to the site, we were guided to an area to practice trust falls. Each of us had to pair up in groups of two. Then, one by one we would take turns falling into our partners arms.
After a few more exercises, rules of the course, and encouragement, it was time for the main event! And, I was so super pumped!!!
Then, I saw it…
That course had to be created by a wild thrill seeker who had a fantasy of bringing ‘The Fear Factor’ to Oklahoma! When we made it to the course, the moment I saw what I had to conquer I instantly became discouraged. My mind flooded with ways why it wasn’t safe and how I could hurt myself or someone else.
I felt everything that I was trained to do wasn’t good enough.
I remember thinking, “I don’t know about this.”
One by one, I watched my classmates eagerly climb high on an utility pole like figure. Then, they would walk across uncontrollable and thin cords. Finally, they would zip tide to a spotter about half a mile down to the ground.
Out of nowhere, I immediately began to feel anxiety build up in my throat and my hands started nervously shaking. By the time it was my turn, I had one thought only: “Ain’t no way I’m climbing up and I’m doing that”.
And I didn’t. I didn’t even half way go up that pole! To make matters worst, I had to have a trained spotter get me down. Poor guy, I was crying and kicking.
Not only was I was embarrassed and angry with myself. The thing that irritated me the most was to allow fear to stop me from reaching my set goal. I felt so defeated.
But today, I will start anew!
Yes, today I will conquer heights! Do you want to know something better?
The Rope’s Course no longer exists. Yay!!!
Seriously, it no longer exists, but there is a new opportunity that awaits me. Most importantly, I would like to share my experience with you! So, invite a friend to watch this crazy little lady conquer her fear. That’s right, I will post my journey conquering heights on my Instagram and Facebook pages tonight at 8PM CST.
If you click on the icons at the bottom of this blog, you will be directed immediately to my social sites. Trust me, you will not want to miss it! Before heading over to Insta and FB, I must share with you…
Life Spoiler Alert: We all have fears.
Even the most strong people in this world have some thing they are afraid of. And, it’s okay!
Psych yourself: Tell yourself the reasons why you can do it before and during the time of taking on the fear.
The moment we allow fear to control how we live our lives or preventing us from accomplishing goals, we become captives to the thing we fear. By choosing to call out the fear and face it head on, we are choosing to take back control!
Today, this will not be an easy journey for me. As I invite God to help me conquer this soon to be conquered fear: heights, I will appreciate all words of encouragement and prayers. Thanks for your support in advance! See you tonight at 8!