“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
– Proverbs 22:6
Growing up in church
I always had an excitement of being in a spirit-filled atmosphere. I began attending church as a little girl. My father was a pastor of the church I regularly attended. To help teach me the importance of serving, my parents made sure I was active in various youth activities. And I enjoyed them, well most of the time!
When I entered into my early teens, I made the decision to be baptized and confessed my faith in front of the entire congregation. This decision came a little after the time when someone I considered very close to me who tried to rape me.
(View Blog Post, Hurt Now Healed for more details).
As I became submerged into the water, I remember the joyful feeling and craving the desire to become a new person. My spirit felt so excited from the thought of me becoming alive in Christ. In my mind, every thing that I was taught would be instantly implanted in my spirit.
I was in church, but church wasn’t in me.
Though I publicly claimed my faith in Christ, I didn’t feel any different. I thought the water would simply erase contradicting desires and I would spiritually become a new person. Only to discover water was symbolic, not a prescription for hidden pain.
So, I spent years creating personas that weren’t in agreement to my faith. At church, I would still be active in the youth activities, outgoing, and enjoyed listening to the knowledge about God. At school, I would be academically fair, yet I would explore contradictive lifestyles. At home, I was extremely exhausted and most of the time depressed. I would use writing and music as outlets.
Deep down inside, I wanted to be better and I didn’t know exactly how to move onto that path.
A heart of surrender.
October 1, 2017.
This is the date that shifted and restored my faith. There was a church I had been attending for quite some time. I enjoyed every thing that was taught and I began to develop great relationships within the congregation.
As the pastor was finishing up his message, I remember hearing him say, “How long are you going to date us?” Instantly, I became overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit. Prior to the service, I asked God on should I become a partner with the church. I didn’t want to abandon my home church, but I recognized my growth while being in regular attendance at the new church.
By him asking that, it was all the confirmation I needed to be a part of one the best churches in the world! Well, to me at least. That simple moment was filled with nostalgia; every good feeling of church came back to me like when I was a little girl! That same day I decided to Re-Dedicate my life to God. And, I proudly made the decision to Re-Present God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ.
(I love my TC Family! ❤️)
Where I am now, it’s been uneasy, yet it is a rewarding journey. I can honestly say surrendering it all to God was the best decision, ever.
Going down in the water is only an example of us leaving sin behind.
When we come up from the water, we are new by allowing God to direct us on our new path.
Faith without works is dead.
We have to allow God to help us take the necessary steps to become new!
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