As believers, we do a great job in letting one another know sex is wrong until marriage. We may share snippets of scriptures like the following:
“Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed be kept pure.”
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
“Be fruitful and multiply!”.
When we only share these scriptures to others we leave out a select group of people: those who are single.
Let’s be honest, when one speaks on the topic of sex, we often treat it as a disease until it’s time for a couple to be married.
We push the topic aside and frown upon those of us who may of experienced sexual sin prematurely.
As I’ve shared many times on this platform sexual sin has been a struggle, but it no longer controls me. I remember there was a long period in my life where it did. Finally, one day I got to a point where I had enough and made the decision to stop cold turkey.
Today, I plan to empower you to do the same!
The battle of lust is easy to fight in prayer.
Last week, I shared I haven’t engaged in any sexual act for over a year. I no longer involve myself in masturbation and I don’t participate in sexual intercourse.
Sexual sin was my longest on and off again relationship! A tough break up for me because I didn’t know how to tell it to leave.
Even after making the decision, I allowed sexual sin to control me. I would tell myself I could quit any time I wanted only I kept going back to do what was familiar.
Sexual sin was my norm. I used it as a crutch for so long that I felt there was no way for me to escape its cycle. Whenever I was hurt, excited, tired, bored, it had always been there for me to cope with suppressed emotions I didn’t know how to heal.
Though I’ve gone so long without it, there’s not a day that goes by I am not thinking of sex.
If I can be even more transparent, engaging in sexual activity is on my mind at least 20% of the time throughout my day.
You may be saying okay, BG a little TMI…
That’s exactly how I used to feel whenever someone in church would bring up sex. I didn’t want to hear anything about it. (Not even if they were battling with the sin.)
At the same time, I would secretly go out in the world and do what they were doing. I felt so disgusted with myself because I didn’t know how I kept falling into the same trap.
I would ask God to just take the desire from me. I now look back on that season of my life and I remember the one thing that used to trip me up was my response after engaging in sexual sin.
Any time I fell into temptation I would stay down. My guilt would override my emotions and spiritually I tried to stay hidden.
Until I began to pray intentionally for sex to no longer control me. The moment I surrendered the desire to God I’ve been praying regularly to remain strong since.
Did you catch that?
The key to being healed from sexual sin is through our intentional prayers.
In 1 Peter 5:7 the Bible states, “Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”
This means any sexual sin, anxiety, or trouble we may be experiencing God wants to help us overcome. All we have to do is acknowledge when we have done wrong the moment it’s happen and pray with the intent to depend on God’s way the next time!
Sharing our truth brings freedom.
As a youth in the church, I knew the desire of sexual sin was wrong, so I was uncomfortable in expressing how I felt due to the fear of being judged.
I’m sharing this to say: if we as a church don’t begin to talk openly about sex and masturbation, we will continue to repeat a generational cycle of ignorance.
If we are all honest, many of us have experienced premarital sex, masturbated, or watched a pornographic movie.
Our strong paradigm creates an elephant barrier for youth or those who are lost to feel ashamed in asking questions about how they can get help with their urges.
So, the question is still, ” How to get back up after engaging in sexual sin?”
Are you ready for it?
Seeking God for guidance is one of the best ways to get back up after committing a sexual sin. Another way is to share our truth.
Being open to sharing our salvation experience is one of the best things we do as believers! We love sharing how God saved us from our mess-ups and He graced us to forgive of our wrong doings.
Now, imagine we (Christians) took the same approach by sharing our current struggles with one another.
In James 5:16, the Bible states:
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. An earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
To get a handle on our sexual urges is we have to be transparent!
Having close individuals who we can share our struggles and help us to pray away those lustful desires brings great healing. Yes, we have to open up in what we are experiencing!
As I previously mentioned, I still have urges to engage in sex. Other than prayer, one of the reasons why I am remaining strong in celibacy is I confide in my inner circle.
Now, I can admit every time I have a lust-filled thought. I’m not calling up my friends like, “Hey, can you imagine the dream I had last night?”.
When I say confiding in our friends, I mean to let those who are close to us know we are battling thoughts and etc.
We can overcome by our truth.
Being silent about our sexual sins gives the enemy permission to keep us bound.
God wants for us to communicate with Him.
When we remain in God, He will be make sure to be a strong voice in difficult times.
How do you feel single should Christians handle sexual urges?
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