Does This Mean I’m Crazy?

It was a Saturday morning and I did my normal social media “looksey”. Since my current boo and I were having some issues, I checked his page and boom, there he was.

Him, some lady’s hand, and a ring on her finger. I called him, but no answer. I texted him, no response.

A few days had gone by and I was almost completely out of my mind, as I had not heard from him, no matter what I did to initiate conversation. I received an EMAIL from him telling me that he could no longer see me due to him now being married.

I was absolutely devastated and totally humiliated. Here I was, in another failed relationship with my heart ripped into pieces. To make matters worse, he was silent.

I replayed the entire year of our relationship, and I use that term loosely, over in my mind a million times. Coupled with my already overwhelming feelings of insecurity and the lack of fulfillment, I questioned God’s decision on Him even creating me.

I felt useless, purposeless, and lost.

I spent days talking it out with a very close friend, who did everything that she could do to console me. She’s a believer, a strong prayer warrior, and she stood in the gap for me immensely.

I could find words to say to God. I didn’t want to say anything to Him because I felt like He played me. All I could do was cry. Thankfully, He reads and understands our tears.

Psalms 34:18 was the scripture that resonated within my spirit. “God is near to the brokenhearted and saved those who are crushed in spirit.”

As I meditated on this verse, I felt the arms of a loving Father wrap around me and pour His heart into my soul. I wanted to heal from this. I had to heal from this.

Not only did I want to heal, I wanted to thrive. One thing that I know about The Lord is that He is progressive, and His desire is that we prosper, even as our souls prosper. That’s Bible.

How do I thrive in seemingly dead waters and no fertile soil?

How do these dry bones live?

How does my heart remain soft despite the abuse that it had taken?

How can I trust myself again? How can I do this? Am I crazy?

I had questions after questions and God had answer after answer.

When the noise in my mind had settled, through much prayer and love, I was able to discern God’s voice for my next step.

That next step kinda took me by surprise. God clearly told me to start seeing a therapist. As scary as that was for me to do, I did it. Needless to say, God always knows what’s best for us.

I am so thankful and so grateful that He walked me into that path. It’s been a little over a year since this all happened, and I am definitely thriving while I am healing.

I am blooming where I am planted. The seed of distrust, lies, manipulation and deceit did not take root in my heart and sprout evil works. Because of the Grace of God, His love and therapy, those seeds died, and fruits of The Spirit bloomed forth.

Fruits of love, peace, long suffering, patience and list goes on. I walked away from this experience with plenty of lessons. One of the biggest lessons that I learned was that in all hurt, healing is the key to moving forward.

I also learned that therapy does not make you crazy, it helps to make you whole. I still see my therapist to this day. She’s like family now. It also helps that she is a Believer as well and we talk candidly about The Lord.

 

Healing Nuggets!

Be healed and be made whole.

In all hurt, healing is the key to moving forward.

 Guest Blogger: Dayus Davis

Dayus Davis is from Clarksville, TN, where she currently resides. She began her writing career in 2017 and published her first novel in 2018. Dayus writes Christian Spiritual Warfare novels, but she is a hopeless romantic, so as God leads, she will venture into that, as well as Mystery and Suspense. Dayus is the oldest of 7 siblings and loves spending time with her family. Dayus’ favorite past times are reading, writing and traveling. She believes that everyone on earth was born with a purpose and divinely intended destiny, but we must seek God in order to find it.

Loved Dayus’ blog post? Chat w/ Dayus this Saturday on Empower Her LIVE! Make sure to follow @wesharetoempower & we will see you soon!

2 thoughts on “Does This Mean I’m Crazy?

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